Sometimes it's easier to be bitter

In the beginning when I first learned of my diagnosis I kept wondering why me? Then I came to realization and asked myself, why not me? There are so many women, men and children struck with some sort of horrid disease and none of us asked for it, and none of deserve it either. I came to figure it is in Gods plan for each one of us. Since shock wore off and I have come to terms with what it is I need to do to get better, I have surrendered myself to God. I have decided to go ahead and put my life in his hands. What else is there for me to do?
It is so much easier to be bitter. It is so much easier to sit and feel sorry for myself. What do I have to gain from that? NOTHING! So I have surrendered all my bitternes and worries into Gods hands. Am I still scared, well yeah! I have heard a many time it is ok to be scared, but we cannot sit and dwell on the what ifs and whys in this life each and everyone has been gifted to have. We gave been gifted our lives, and we should all give thanks each day for having this life we have, and I do. I thank God I had a father who loved me and my family till I was six. I thank god for giving me a mother who loves me and my sisters and would trade her own life for ours. I thank God for giving me a husband who is loving, patient, and kind. I thank God for the two sisters whom I have grown up and love to this day. I thank God for my three beautiful girls in which I would give my own life for in a heart beat. I thank God for all the people who I know and do not know that have sent their love and prayers my way. There are so many things I thank God for and I could go on and on. As I feel the bitterness try to sneak back in, all I do is think of all the people and things that God has given to me, and I am so very thankful. Thank you God for giving me this wonderful life I have!